An Introduction

I have used this profile in the past to create blogs so this isn't new for me. What is new for me is the fact that I was severely tempted to use another, anonymous account to prevent those who have followed my other blogs from seeing this one. The reasoning behind this fear is pretty self explanatory; just look to the title of this blog. My name is Amy. I live in Utah, and I am a full time college student, and a part time CPA's assistant. I am in my early twenties, and I am a Mormon...

Or at least I was certain of that until several controversial things starting coming into play. Needless to say that, that last statement, "I am a Mormon", is now being thoroughly questioned, and this blog will act as a sounding board for some of the things that I am feeling and thinking about.

I don't care about the views that I may possibly receive; I am not planning on promoting this in any way. I don't care if you comment and worry for my poor soul, mentioning how close to teetering off into the depths of apostasy. Believe me, I already worry enough about that. If you have arguments for the things that I find, I will endeavor to look at these arguments from both sides of the equation. I don't care, you see, if this glorified journal will be a subject for controversy.

In the end, I have decided that I would use my original account because of one thing: I am not ashamed for my questioning. I am not afraid to tell friends and family that I am not 100% convinced that the Church is true. I don't think that anyone should be ashamed to question, but more on that later. Let's not forget the fact that I am an educated (somewhat) millennial who wishes to examine the gospel more thoroughly and critically than I have ever done in my life.  I'm sick of just accepting things because someone says that it is true. I need to know for myself. I will not accept that the sky is green if the President claims that it is. Just, no.

Let me be absolutely and unequivocally clear here: I am not looking for any simple reason to leave the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I am not going to leave because of a small matter of difference of opinion. I am not set on leaving the church already. That is harmful to my own personal discovery. However, I will not stay in a religion where I feel trapped, and uncomfortable with things that they are teaching it's members. I will leave the Church and risk the wrath of God if I truly and genuinely feel, with a clear mind, heart and conscious that these things which are taught are incorrect and do not correlate with the teachings of a God that I hope is there. My goals are to look into the subjects of my questioning with an objective eye that is not altered by my own bias. I am approaching this situation with a heart filled with prayer and a mind and heart that is open to any inspiration that I would receive from on high.

I understand that this journey will not be completed in 30 days. I understand that it will take a long time to define what I am to believe in and how I will worship and follow the God that I will get to know better, hopefully, throughout this journey. I am also hoping that I can inspire someone else to look at and think critically of the Church. After all, Joseph Smith was a good example of asking God and thinking critically, wasn't he?


One last message before I go and study for my managerial accounting class...

"I have a simple and solemn faith that right will triumph and that truth will prevail. I am not so naive as to believe there will not be setbacks, but I believe that 'truth crushed to earth will rise again.'" - President Gordon B Hinckley [emphasis is mine]

With a quote like that, I have more certainty that if the subjects of my questioning were really,  absolutely true, I need not fear. As long as my heart and mind are tuned into the whispering of the Holy Ghost, He will not lead me astray. Such is my solemn and most profound hope in this journey.

I feel like I should say "Amen" here...this is awkward...